Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Post Pregnancy Glow?

Ladies, if you see me and tell me I am glowing post pregnancy I will laugh OUT LOUD. That is not a glow. THAT IS A ZIT. Actually multiple zits.

And my hair is falling out & graying rapidly like it did with Matthew after three months.

And the skin on the rest of my body looks like it has aged 20 years - it is see through and dry and nasty. Quite frankly, I have 13 yr old skin on my face and 80 yr old skin on legs. Now that is HAWTT.

I have stopped losing weight because I stopped trying to lose weight and that glow might be from not wiping my chin after shoving my WHOLE face into that gallon of mint chocolate chip ice cream and a half dozen cinnamon rolls.

That is not a new look in make-up those are dark bags under my eyes. Why no no I have not plucked my brows in three weeks and YES my brows are really THAT bushy.

My clothes? Oh yeah I am like between weird sizes and I have muffin top. Hmm, make that Mint chocolate chip cookie ice cream top. Of course the clothes I am wearing are made better by spit up and food dripped down the front due to eating on the run while holding a baby. I of course notice AFTER I have been out and about to a few stores. Should I mention that I also sometimes leak, er you know in the CHEST area and some times I totally TOTALLY forget about it and still go out then I remember hmm I probably have a big dried wet looking spot on my boob area.

BUT BUT I got my engagement ring jammed back on my finger. Never mind, I will never get it off again and my wedding band? Yeah that may need to be upgraded or something because even if I do lose that 20 lbs ahh I do not think it will go back on.

MILF I am not. Do I really want to be a MILF? Heck yeah. Do I have the time, energy or chutzpa to be a MILF? Nope. Seriously I am left wondering AGAIN how those Hollywood types look so fucking good mere weeks after they had a baby. It seems so dang unfair. I mean really why raise the bar so high for us common folk? I hate that. Freaks of nature! I guess if I had a team of people helping me I would not have these issues, right? RIGHT?!

At the end of the day in all seriousness I am happy. Okay I hate the acne because I have been dealing with acne since I was like ten but everything else, well I would not trade any of this for anything. I have two beautiful babies and a wonderful life with those kids. I am rambling here. BUT what I am trying to say here is I am going to TRY to get back on the wagon. Work at getting in shape. To feel better about myself. I even made a hair appointment and I might like try some make up and I bought a new pair of pants and a shirt and OMG I am going to jewelry party over the weekend so maybe I will get something there too. I need to give myself a break too. It has only been three months since Marisa was born. It took me almost two years to lose the weight I have lost already the firs time around and all the other stuff will follow. The skin and hair will regulate and we will get on sleep schedule and maybe next year I will write here and say OMG I am SO HWATT!
Post a Comment