Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Growing

I am thirty five today. It seems something like a milestone to me. Half way through my 30s. Half way to 40. A decade from my mid 20s or more to the point, I am no longer close to just leaving my 20s I am suddenly knee deep in my 30s. It just seems weird. I look in mirror and see this woman who does not quite jive with the age I feel on the inside. For the record that varies - some days it is a confused pre-pubescent 12 year old and other days the completely confused extremely unworldly 18 year old.

I seriously look around a little dazed most days. I have had the same job for five years (and crazier still we have lived in the same town for that period of time.) I am married. I own a home. I have two kids. I am getting wrinkles and gray hair. I am fat and sassy. I am happy. All of these things are good things - it just freaks me out some times. Like when did all this happen? And how did it happen so quickly. Has it really been 17 years since I finished high school? And 12 since I finished my undergraduate years? It is amazing to me. The passage of time. Kids make you realize how quickly time flies. Three and a half months ago I had a baby. It seems like that happened a moment ago but it has been 14 weeks. Where did that time go so quickly? I am amazed by this.

So many thing my own mother used to say to me come back when I start thinking about age. I remember her telling me how quickly things will change, to enjoy each moment because you will not get it back. This is all true. But it is strange how I did no notice this passage of time until Matthew came along. Until I started watching my own children grow. Before that I was willy nilly racing through life without a worry in the world (ha) and now here I am thinking how can I slow down time just a bit so I absolutely do not miss a thing.

I am looking forward to this year for so many reasons. I am looking forward to seeing my kids grow and change. I am excited for our trips to Orlando, Seattle and even Winnipeg this year. I am glad I get to visit with my friends from Detroit this spring, to meet their little boy and show them our house. I am looking for to a full year of work which may sound weird but true. I hopeful for the new president who will take office in January and the state of our country. I hopeful that old friendships will remain strong and new friendships will grow. I am happy. I am thirty five and loving life like I never imagined in my wildest dreams!
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