Today has been weird. I mean that in a kind way. I did not get much sleep last night. Marisa's cold seems to be progressing from slight to worse. She slept in our bed for the first time in weeks. Then Kevin started hacking AGAIN and Marisa woke up. I pretty much spent the night sleeping bolt upright in the chair in her room just so she could get some sleep. This left me drained this morning both from being sick myself and you know what? Sleeping sitting up sucks my hinnie.
It is gray and suddenly winter cool outside. Matthew and Kevin are both still sick. I highly suspect that the kids both have ear infections but I feel like going to the doctor without any other symptoms other then a suspicion is stupid. I asked Kevin kindly this morning before Matthew woke up if I could lay down for a half hour to get some much needed rest. Marisa was fed and happier then she is now and Matthew was sleeping so why not? He went back to sleep and I have been up ever since. NICE. He later pretended that he misunderstood. I think he knew what I meant but maybe not...
It has been like a scene from the movie Birds outside our house all morning. The only version I have ever seen is Alfred Hitchcock's black and white 60s movie - I understand there was remake. I had no desire to ever watch it. Have I mentioned I loved Alfred Hitchcock movies? I keep trying to capture the mass of Starlings that keep darkening the sky, ground and trees around our house but I keep missing those moments, unable to have a camera and child in my hand at the same time for some reason. The baby wants to be held non stop and I do not blame her but my back hurts and I am tired, my nose & head are throbbing. Complain complain complain.
Kevin and Matthew left without saying good bye to us. I think Kevin was fleeing my bitchy mood. If I would have had a little half hour nap this morning I would not be this way, maybe. I finally took a deep breath after they left. I could not feed Marisa again. I AM NOT A HUMAN PACIFIER. I also knew she needed to poop. I dug out a real pacifier and popped it in her mouth. She took it! I was surprised but pleased. We sat together on the chair rocking, listening to the NPR fund drive and Ira Glass. I was trying to concentrate on the Complete Stories of Flannery O'Conner while Marisa pooped and tooted up a storm and then fell into a deep sleep. I rocked on enjoying the moment. I happened to look up just as a huge buck walked through our yard. A buck. I unceremoniously dumped Marisa into her crib and ran to get the camera. I also missed this shot. Mostly because the camera was on the wrong setting. He was stunning even in his confusion and freight over the neighbor's dog who is as big as him. He fled before I could get a picture, proof. I do not blame him either.
I bought a Christmas-y dress & tights for Marisa yesterday at Gymboree using my 30%off coupon. I realized when I got home I meant to buy something NOT Chrismas-y. My brain is melting. I wanted something nice but neutral for the family photos we are taking in a couple of weeks. Now I have to go back to the dreaded mall. Which is fine but I also need to do the groceries and the laundry. And I sit here typing instead. Dreading the full work week next week. Looking out at the Starlings darkening the sky, listening to the deep breathing of my sleeping baby and hoping that buck will pass back through so I can really get a good photo, some proof that all of this happened...