This was a long old weekend. This weekend made me wish a few times for time to fast forward. Generally those thoughts occurred over the three nights I spent almost fully awake with Marisa. I rescinded the thoughts when the sun came up and Marisa was once again a happy smiley sweet little baby and not the head spinning sobbing farting baby of the night. Plus I AM enjoying her babyhood SO much, I AM. I just do not wish to enjoy her SO MUCH at 3:00a. Needless to say, I am freaking tired and I was actually glad that Monday morning dawned for once.
Really for me the worst part about being tired is that I get bitchy (more bitchy... tomato-tamato) and reclusive. Like I really just want to hole up in the house because I am bitchy and tired and you could park a Buick in the bags under my eyes.
Also, hormones SUCK. Seriously suck. First of all, I have had the most insane dreams. Likely due to the fact that I never fully get to sleep at any given time until the sun comes up and Kevin blissfully allows me an hour of sleep each day of the weekend. One morning I had dreams about planes crashing and burning before my eyes. AH yeah nothing like dreaming that a week and a half before GETTING on an actual plane. FUCK. The one take away (way to make me feel better?) None of the planes were the particular airline I am flying... Good? Bad? Or just weird. Hmmm...
Back to hormones - again with the freaking acne. I mean seriously. I am THIRTY FIVE. I look like an aging teenager at the moment and there is no stopping this little bout with acne. And really have done time with acne for well over 20 years now I am just OVER it. I know none of this will last so whining about it seems... lame. Especially in the face of such looming things as this article.
I briefly watched 60 Minutes last night and had to turn it off because it made me feel SO sad (another hormone related thing - I totally cry for no reason and I choke up when trying to tell NON-SAD stories which is also very strange if you ask me.) At any rate, 60 Minutes... DHL went belly up and to add to that linked article that was an additional 10,000 jobs lost. I have had nervous tummy (which is stolen from Tess) about the economy for months now. It feels like it is getting worse and worse and I am grateful each day for my job because dude SCARY.
On a brighter note, I am glad we got snow. It just sucks for it to be cold with nothing to show for it. I am also glad for Florida in the winter. I am glad we are getting the house appraised as we speak and will be closing on it next month (again) for VERY reduced rate and our payment will drop significantly. All good things, happy glittery things to pull me away from my crazy dark tired mood.
With reference to our house, it was always a question mark about whether we would stay in our house for a long time or not. Over the weekend, we decided to stay put. We have considered buying property and building a house but after much discussion we decided that was not wise to do.
We love our 'hood, we like our house and it makes more sense from a cost point of view to stay put for as long as we can. The only reason we would have considered moving had to do with schools but after conversations with numerous people who actually have their kids in the schools our kids would attend - well we learned not to believe in the hype. Those three schools are just fine and really the schools are not the issue. As one grandparent and another parent pointed out to us: if we are good solid parents who know what is going on in our children's lives, our kids will thrive in most any school. Really it helped to hear that the elementary school Matthew is set to attend is a great school. I think that helped calm my nerves. At the end of the day, every school no matter where we live will have good and bad aspects about them. There is NO perfect situation and we need to roll with it.
Making the decision about our house helped us in that we can make upgrades to the house based on the length of time we plan to stay. If we were not going to stay for very long why spend the money on the expensive counter tops for instance? We would just leave the ones that are there. Now knowing we are planning to stay for as long as possible we are willing to consider the expensive counter tops/flooring/built-ins, etc... Knowing this makes me feel more settled.
Can you tell I am having a topsy-turvy Monday because this post is all over the place? Sleep. I swear it is true that it does a body/mind good. Needless to say, you might notice more and more of these babbling posts in the coming weeks since the sleeplessness seems to have set in permanently for a while. This too shall pass and things will get better. For now, ramble, tired, mutter... back to work I go.