Monday, February 23, 2009

Intentional Check-In

Remember back when I said rather then setting goals this year I was going to work on being intentional. Crap being intentional is f-ing hard. I mean seriously to be intentional means changing how I think and dudes that is hard. Something have been easier then others.

The first one was to lose five lbs by March 30th. I am about 1 lb away from that goal which gives me about a month and a week to lose about two lbs. I feel like that is reasonable. The only issue I have right now - lots of stress at home and work, VERY little sleep (sick bebe) and no time to actually TRY to lose weight. Also, I am at the point with nursing that I am STARVED all the time. I mean seriously. I will eat an entire meal and find my stomach SCREAMING at me an hour later. It is just nursing - I remember this with Matthew. Around 6 months when he hit a growth spurt, err so did I! HA! Or not so HA-ish. Any who, moving right along.

I intend to be calmer and level headed with Matthew. FAIL. Yes, fail. I was calmer for a while but see also stress at home and work, no sleep, constant hunger equals ugly Christina. I am re-instituting this intention as of TODAY. I am also adding - learn to laugh at the situation because this helps to lower my relative level of upset when it comes to Matthew. Though I have come to discover that four is going to be as trying as three, I think.

I intend to take a yoga class starting in February - FAIL as of right now. I just read that one and realized I never signed up for it but it may not be too late. We shall see. Matthew is taking swim class so I might be able to work it in while he is swimming. We shall see. This one might have to wait until closer to the summer along with the intent to start running again and run a 5k by the fall. SUCH big aspirations!

One place I am not failing is the intent to bake and cook more. I am doing relatively well on this one and I am not feeling guilty when I do not succeed. Just making due. I bake Banana bread and made Mac N Cheese soup (sounds gross but is so good and super easy to make) last night!

Spend less money on unneeded items. This has been forced on me! I kid. Kevin and I are continuing our tight budget, only get a set amount of cash every two weeks so when we are out we are out until the next time we "get paid" thing. It kind of sucks but it also makes me think THINK think about what I am spending every time I walk into Target. Plus I totally got Marisa a sweatshirt and t-shirt at Target for $1.50 this weekend. It was on clearance for 90% off!!

Read two books per month. Bahahahahaha... ah. I started out well in January. I polished off one book and started another. That 2nd book was not near as good as I had hoped and I got like five magazine and 20 catalogs which ended up taking precedence over my reading. SO now we are almost done with February I am still trying to plow through the book I started in January PLUS four other books. Not doing so well on this one BUT at least I am trying!

I intend to eat better. I am actually doing all right on this one even though I am hungry at seemingly odd times of the day (like freaking midnight or 4 am.) I am choosing better snacks like carrots versus chips or a cup of non fat yogurt versus candy BUT not always. I am enjoying some "junk" food but I feel generally good about how I am doing with this one.

I intend to be more creative. Total FAIL. Unless taking random photos of Marisa sitting in the same position just different clothing every day creative. Naw. I will work on this one once things calm down at home.

Two that I think am trying really hard to do but am sort of half failing at and half doing well are listening better and being open to Kevin when he speaks with me. If I am overwrought I tend to just shut him out. If I am not, I listen and learn a lot. I am trying trying trying. If I could just get a tad bit of sleep I would be much better at this. Must also remember to carry snacks any time I leave the house because you would NOT want to see me when my blood sugar dips. It is SCARY!

The other one is being present when I am at home with my kids. I do not worry about the state of the house as much and have started to include everyone in the cleaning process more. Matthew will push the vacuum cleaner and Kevin hauls the laundry downstairs on Sunday morning. It is working okay. We are trying together and that is all that counts.

People, these are just the Personal intentions. I am not even going to get into the work ones or the three that could be used on both the personal and work side of things.

I feel over all I can give myself maybe a C+ right now on intentions. I am trying to slow down, listen to myself and be more conscious but that is hard especially when I am used to flying without thinking. Must slow down and think more!
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