Tuesday, April 14, 2009

The Joys Of Turning Four

What a weekend... it was okay. Tiresome. I had lots of things to hold over Matthew's head so he remained fairly even keel. It was good to spend one on one time with him.

We had swim practice, went for a long old bike ride, ate dinner at a friend's house, lunch at another friend's house, had TWO Easter egg hunts, went grocery shopping, hit Starbucks, watched A Bug's Life, did laundry, played in the basement, ate lots of candy and generally enjoyed the sunshine-y but cool weather.

Marisa had a cold that was an added element that I did not expect. She also does not really like to sleep for me. I chalk it up to wanting to hang with Mommy as much as possible which is super sweet but also freakishly tiresome.

Needless to say I am hoping we do not have to do that again for a long old time but I think my hopes will be short lived. We also get to visit Canada again in two weeks on short notice. Hip hip... oh crap who am I kidding? I am so not looking forward to it at all but whatevs. It is for Kevin and I need to keep reminding myself of that.

My stress levels have been out of this world the past few months. Work sucks. Home life has been up and down. Emotionally, I feel raw. What I am looking forward to in the short term is that Matthew, my wee tot who is not so wee any more, will be turning FOUR on Sunday. I am excited for his Birthday. I am sad that he will be four because that just means he is leaving the toddler stage far, far behind. He seems to have morphed recently into a real live big old PRESCHOOLER.

He grabbed a sheet of paper on Sunday and started writing LETTERS. I just looked down in awe. And he is starting to look at the words and asks lots of questions about how they work, trying to understand this whole letters turn into words concept. He is thirsty for knowledge. He asks millions of questions a day. He inspects things - bugs, dirt, the lay of the land, people, how they look, everything... it is tiresome and yet it is such a new and exciting perspective for me.

I am amazed every day that not so long ago he was this helpless, mostly motionless human being who cried and screamed and giggled and could barely use his hands to hold a rattle. And now NOW he is this little person. Who can jump FAR. And HIGH. And run fast. Who still can flit from happiness to sadness to anger in a heart beat, with the strength of a tiger and the power of a lion.

He is beautiful. His long lashes. His reddish hair. His big blue eyes. His round little cheeks. I catch myself rubbing his arm by his wrist from time to time when we are reading and he does not mind it. This is a spot where there is still a tiny bit of baby fat and soft baby feeling skin and I think 'my gawd how did this go by so quickly?' How did he become this rough and tumble little boy with distinctive likes and dislikes.

He is has become a little boy with specific ideas about the world. Who does not need me to stand over him at swim class any more but will smile and wave when I show up. Who is afraid of monsters in the house but goes out in the backyard to play by himself. Who still asks me to "help him" get dressed but picks out his own clothing. Who wants me to hug and kiss him in private but will not stand for it in public. Who wants his freedom in degrees but still knows we are in charge.

He likes to shake his rump and tell jokes. He runs around like a chicken with his head cut off sometimes giggling uncontrollably at times. Other times he will sit with his tongue threaded through his teeth concentrating absolutely on his workbooks. He makes up silly words and thinks it is a hoot to rhyme words creating nonsense words that he will use, looking for a reaction to it. He likes BREAD and pizza and cantaloupe and multigrain Cheerios and sometimes he even likes broccoli.

Matthew is charming, loving, sweet, outrageous, loud, intense, and smart... he will soon be my four year old. And yet I am still left wondering how and when did that happen!?
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