Monday, May 11, 2009

Surreal Moment

I kind of had a weird... bad?...surreal, definitely surreal, day. Monday. When the nice doctor I was visiting to remove a skin tag from my eye totally ignored the skin tag and was suddenly inspecting another part of my face. A little mole. Near the eye with the skin tag. My left eye if you are wondering.

A mole that has grown, and changed shape and color the past few years. I thought nothing of that tiny mole. It has been there for years, just part of my face. Then the doctor was calling out its size, shape and color. The same mole the same doctor looked at LAST year right before I found out I was pregnant. No mention of this mole, NOT once. He was suddenly telling the nurse to prep me, numb the area.

The next thing I know I am being told about Mohs and how the surgery will work if the skin sample comes back cancerous. Did I have any questions?! Wee isn't this fun?!

It was like the needle ran off the record. I felt my stomach lurch a bit. My mind felt a little numb. Cancer?

The next thing I knew I looked over at the nurse as she was snapping a four inch needle in preparation for sticking it into the skin near the mole near my eye. I closed my eyes and tried to breath. I could not. I thought she was done and opened my eyes. Mistake! There was a NEEDLE. IN. MY. EYE. I closed my eyes again. Nice cute nurse with the tongue ball ring thing!? said 'are you okay?' I murmured 'yes', squeezing my hands together and digging my heels in to the table.

Did I mention I do not like "wounds" around the eye? Hmm yeah no, not the thing for me. AND umm CANCER? SO yeah.

I just kept my eyes closed. The doctor came and took the skin. I will not give the grim details about this. Let's just say I opened my eyes again. WAIL.

Then he cauterized the skin tag which is nasty by itself. Mostly that is grim and smelly. All done.

I sat up and went to my chair as I was told to. I am not sure this was the best idea ever. I swayed and wondered why there was not a garbage can more prominently displayed in the room. The nice nurse went over a few more things and said for the third time the results on the skin test can take as long as 14 days, two weeks, a while.

I wandered out into the light. My left eye swollen shut, bloodied, numb. Cancer? Really? I sat in the car and let my mind wander. I drove back to work, and worked. Then I went home. I tried to stay occupied...

Two weeks. I guess I just wait and try not let my mind wander, right?
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