Wednesday, November 4, 2009

The Dead Zone

I decided that since last week was kind of a dead week between training schedules I would take advantage of it by doing...



Today, I realize a few things:

* What a shitty idea to take a break from exercising the same week piles and pounds of Halloween candy, specifically CHOCOLATE, specifically cute little Twix bars, tiny sweet Snickers bars and those chocolate covered waffles of goodness Kit Kats, are floating ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE.

* I did the elliptical machine one of the three days I did work out last week and dude that thing sucks my rump even harder then the treadmill. And it sucks in a passive aggressive sort of way.

* When I first got on it I was all 'huh this is TOO easy' and also 'WAY easier then I remember it!' SO I ramped the stupid thing up to high and hard. And I was like 'umm yeah this thing sucks'.

* And I was all geeked out because I could READ, a magazine, YEAH but as I was ellipticalling (?) I nearly fell off and broke my neck, for real! The lady next to me laughed. Thanks.

* Finally, after I got off I was like 'holy shit I still feel like I am cycling forward.' Sort of like being dizzy in your legs. Which was actually kind of fun. What was not fun was the EFFING soreness that attacked my calves and quads for the next three days as if I have not been running my ass off since the last week of July five days a week. Just another thing to prove that being "in shape" is just a state of mind. The REAL proof is in the doing of other evil electronic machines to prove you are still a fat out of shape 30 something with two kids. WEEEEE...

* I did not run for four days over the weekend. That was nice. I was still struggling with the hacking stuffy sickness and my sore body needed a break. BUT taking off four days and then going back to the gym is like telling someone to get a tooth extracted without pain medicine. It hurts in a physical and mental way! I dragged myself to the gym last night and once I was there... it still sucked BUT I did what I went there for (3 miles) and I will do it again today and tomorrow... blah blah blah.

* How easy it is to let my eating get out of hand when the holidays roll around. I NEED NEED NEED to pull back. And figure out a strategy to get through. I am still 9 pounds off my goal weight which is driving me up the wall. What is truly pathetic and sad: it is not like it takes science or anything to figure out why I cannot effectively lose weight. If I just workout, whether it be hard or not, AND keep eating a load of shit I am not going to lose weight. Duh. See also: 'I am not 25 any more'.

* The more I think about trying to eat better the worse my eating gets. What kind of fucked inverse passive aggressive relationship is that with food...(speaking of passive aggressive or something like that?!)

To recap, (HALP!) do not take a break for four days ever again especially during a holiday weekend, do not use machines because they are all trying to kill me and eat better or I will be complaining about my weight till I die and gawd help me if that is the case!

Also, if the lady next to you tonight at the gym almost falls off of the machine don't laugh - it hurts. It really really hurts!! ;)
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