Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Fleeting

Maybe in the past two weeks Marisa has taken to doing this little skip thing.  I guess technically she is skipping which kind of freaks me out because I do not know I think Matthew was probably like three before he learned to skip.  And omg there she goes skipping by her red hair flying backwards and a giggle issuing forth, a smile that lights up her entire face and she is trying to go faster and faster.

I watched her watch Matthew after dinner this evening.  I still keep her in the high chair for meals.  Why?  Because I can.  Because I know technically she can sit perfectly well in a seat and she does from time to time.  Because I could not keep Matthew in a high chair and I can with her.  And that power feels darn good!  Ahem, I digress.  So she was waiting patiently to get hands washed off.  And her eyes followed Matthew's trail across the kitchen as he ran full tilt into the couch and flipped over the arm.  She wore a large grin and her eyes were lit up.  I wondered what she was thinking.  Could it be: "Wait till I can do that?"  or "Should I try that once I get out of this contraption?" or "I adore that kid (Mat-ew)."  And she will do that running flip eventually and she does adore Matthew.

She is thinning out.  Tonight I was holding her hand during our quiet moment before bed nursing.  And her hands are different.  Not as many dimples.  Bigger.  Then she wiggled away from me and I had to let go.

She is getting these two molars and how they bug her.  And yet she is so not bothered by them.  And if I rub a tiny bit of medicine on them or give her that homeopathic rememedy stuff it seems to help.  She is so easily placated.

She is set in her ways.  Every morning she must eat.  Do not change her diaper, do not pass go, do not collect $200 dollars.  Just get her the food or else.  Same goes for the evening.  Any time after 5:00p she is consumed by hunger and sleepy time. 

She must kiss and hug each of us including Santana and Lucy before bed.  Her routine. She grabs her blanket and drags it about it hugging and kissing and saying "Ni-Ni".  Then she goes to sleep.  Like that.  Did I really go through what I did with Matthew and bed time?  How did I do that for so long?  But not with her. 

I was speaking the tiny bit of French that I know to Marisa tonight and she looked right at me and tried the words in French.  I did not believe it.  So tried more and she tried more.  Simply amazing.

Tonight as I walked out of the YMCA I saw these two teenage girls, tall blond pretty.  Suddenly I thought of Marisa (not because she will tall or blond or even pretty...) and how little she is now and how one day she will be a teenage girl giggling about the text message she got from "HIM" then jumping into a car to drive away. 

This time is passing by, it is fleeting.  And so I sit and watch and take it all in, deeply trying to remember her funny little 19 month old skip, how she giggles, how she bobs to the music when it plays, how she looks at Matthew... I want to have that all ingrained in my memory forever or else it will just pass me by, and she will suddenly be a teenager giggling to her friends and driving away.  Fleeting.
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