Our dog, Santana, whom I held in one hand when we first got him at 6 weeks old, is indeed my first baby. Kevin and I took turns all night long taking him in and out late at night to teach him how to become potty trained. Up and down the stairs of our 2nd floor apartment in the chill cool of late summer and early fall in Northern Indiana. I cuddled and loved Santana like a little baby, and without realizing it, I cut my teeth on how to be a parent for good and/or bad. I was often sleep deprived from this potty training experience and would drag myself off to work each morning, mostly single parenting this sickly little puppy as Kevin was playing hockey and away on the road a lot. Santana eventually learned to only go potty outside on walks or on the back patio from time to time.
As Santana has gotten older and remained sickly, he unhappily has learned to press our buttons by peeing on things around the house when he is either not feeling well or upset about something such as OH I do not know say something little like a new baby or some such nonsense like that. He has "favorite places" to pee. His most favorite locations include one corner of the couch and one corner of our bed but most recently it is on one corner of the kitchen table. While this sucks to clean up just as much as any other location, it is on the laminate floor SO yeah no carpet (if there is a silver lining to this story, right?)
The other day, at dinner, Matthew and Marisa were seated side by side. Yes, we are crazy and tempt fate often... They were happily eating a well rounded dinner of peas, chicken and some homemade bread. When I noticed Marisa looking down at the ground. This is not an odd thing since Santana drives her bat shit crazy with pawing and begging from her throughout meals. This has only become worse now that she is not really using her highchair because he can get at her more easily.
Matthew looked down at whatever Marisa was looking at and looked up at us with a frown on his face. He said, deadpan, "Oh NO pee..." Kevin and I looked at each other, rolled our eyes and we leaned over to peak under the table. At that very moment, Matthew giggled with delight and said "OH NO GREEN PEA."
My kid has learned the very essence of comedy - the delivery of his joke was absolutely perfect. It is a fine skill to have, no?!