Things can change quickly. Like a top spinning faster and faster then suddenly toppling over to a stop, the change from spinning to clattering stop can be shocking. That is how I am feeling today.
I hardly ever feel that way. To lift from the deep, dark well into light so quickly. It is making my head spin just like that top.
I want to be thrilled with the possible changes that will happen in our lives in the coming months. I want to shout from the hill tops about how wonderful this new possibility is, that was presented to me on seemingly a silver platter. The new possibility of some freedom and the ability to still be viable in a way I want to be.
But I feel tentative about it. It feels too good to be true. I am shocked like the quiet of the top tumbling to a stop. And yet I also feel a little like a plant that is finally getting water, the need and thirst I was feeling is being satisified, I am feeling good and I am feeling back. Stronger than before. With a cool refreshing breeze blowing on my hot, tired face.
Less pull in all directions, more function. Better timing. Being there for them, for those who need me the most and I want to be better for them, all of them.
I am feeling hopeful again on the turn of that spinning top. Keep spinning, oh please keep spinning.
Working out has been an up and down situation for me. I am definitely pulled by emotions right now. Trying to focus on the moment with my kids, or my work, or my husband - only those three things keep my attention. Feeling that is all I can concentrate on well. I have been working out with stops and starts, mostly eating poorly in between. This week I have managed to put together two runs and a 45 minute bike session with plans for two more runs tonight and Sunday morning all while STILL eating poorly. Oh well.
Last night, it was steamy hot and I was trying to beat the rain before it arrived. We figured I had about 30 minutes before it started to rain so off I went. I had the iPod playing one set for one song that I really wanted to hear (Journey - Don't Stop Believin' - WHA? Am cheesy, I know) then I remembered I uploaded some new songs to another set and I really wanted to listen to those songs (Eminem thankyouforasking whom I have had/have a crush on since like FOREVER... shut it. I like bad boys who can rap swear... apparently!)
Any who, I turned in a neighborhood and started to fiddle with the iPod. I knew the sidewalk was uneven so I slowed down to the slowest jog/walk and suddenly with a very audible grunt, I tripped. I caught myself before I fell down but my face was totally going for the ground faster then the rest of me! ACK! I muttered to myself about being foolish girl. FTLOG... I totally learned my lesson. Stop running/walking/jogging when adjusting one's iPod.
That is my official public service announcement for the weekend. Happy weekends to all.
PS: I made it home before the rain - a3 miles 27 minute run! A first in a long ass time. WOO-HOO!!