Thursday, December 2, 2010

Bah Humbug-ish

It is not that I do not care this year, it is just that this head cold - chest congestion - stomp on my brain until it is a bloody pulp or as I have lovely started to call it WHOOPING COUGH (it is not, I just decided that is what we have since I heard a few people were officially diagnosed with this in our town, replete with a visit from the CDC! YAY small town Indiana...) has taken over K and I.  I feel like death alternating between alive but wishing I were dead and K is the same.

We got SOME of the outdoor decorations up when the weather was still okay but now K needs to hang off the roof in the 37 degree wind/snow/ice (with his hacking cough and green snot, TMI?) to hang the lights and OMG our house?  NOT ONE DECORATION.  Actually this a lie, Missy and A did a snowflake project yesterday so Missy and I taped those up last night. 

We do not even have our felt Advent tree out yet and it is DAY TWO of December. 

I cannot even begin to fathom holiday tune-age.  ZOMG.

This weekend.  The goal is this weekend.  I have been trying to workout at night so I am just like fuck it, my health is more important than tacky decorations., DAMMIT.  Plus Missy is going to be hell on wheels about the decorations.

The past two nights I have stayed up past midnight trying to do Holiday cards.  I went to place the order last night and had a, not shitting you, a heart attack.  $112.50 for 50 cards.  No shit.  Not a fan of the flat photo cards.  I like a real card and I came up with a great inside for our cards this year.  Something I am totally GEEKED about but sadly I am not sure I can justify $112.50 for 50 cards.  SO I may have to go to the ye ole flat card.  I thought maybe I could get away with ordering less and I may.  I am making a list as we speak.  If I ever get the card together, it kicks ass!  I love how it turned out even though we never got an actual shot of the kids in holiday garb!

Speaking of holiday garb, one of my besties made the most amazing dress for Missy.  I plan to put it on Missy to deck the halls this weekend so I will share!  M Bug wailed that he has NOOOO holiday garb however (no shit, he said holiday garb... I swear to you I am dork and plan to pass on my dorkiness on to him.  Dork is cool right now... YO!)

I placed an order on Amazon the other day for my Mom and a friend and would you believe I have had to have not one but two online chats about this order because I am a dumb ass (did you know dumb ass is two words?  Well spell check says so!) 

I still need to do the bulk of our holiday shopping but I have solid lists and I am feeling good about what I need to get.  I am confident I am almost done.  That statement back there: the KISS OF DEATH!  We are not lavish in our gifties.  I feel like setting the kids up for a huge Christmas is a bad idea.  This year we are doing plastic and batteries.  'Tis the season to live in excess and the environment is fucked up any way right?  The cost of this holiday cheer - WAY more then I want to think of, just glad we have a two income home!

SO I am trying with all my might to care, to be into the holiday.  No shit on my TO DO list I have a note:
Plan Holiday Cookies and Bake

However, not on my list: DECORATE THE FUCKING HOUSE.  Or: Do Not Get A Deathly Upper Respiratory Thing Right Before the Holidays that Spells DOOM DOOM DOOM for the Holiday Cheer. 

My poor children.

Nothing like a plan for the holiday.  Deck the halls and all that jazz...
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