Tuesday, April 19, 2011


Dearest M Bug,

At 9:25pm on April 19th, 2005, you came into my world and forever changed it for the better!

You are six today.  Six.  Today: I try to imagine you kicking in my tummy and I try to remember what I imagined you to be like before you were born.  I try to imagine your squishy sweet little baby face and soft baby skin and chubby strong kicky baby legs.  I try to imagine you learning to walk with such intensity.  I try to imagine your first, second and third years of life.   I know it all happened.  I see it in photos and in my mind's eye. 

I see you now and I think you are so cool.  You are smart, you are funny, you are sweet and kind and loving. 

You are a rascal and sometimes you can even be mean mostly when you are tired.

You are set to go all the time.  Genetics may dictate this but like many that came before you, you require very little actual sleep to go, go, go.  You never seem to wear out.  You run and jump and play and bike and hunt (for birds and bugs and worms).  You play with reckless abandon.  You love sports and Lego's and dinosaurs.  You love sweets and pizza and fruit and vegetables which is both neat and weird! 

You have lost teeth (THREE!) and you learned to monkey across those bars.  You jump from great heights and you are fearless when it comes to winning.  You hate to lose, hate is a strong word, but in this case it is true.

You still do not like strangers and you still hang close to us.  You still do not like tornadoes and thunderstorms and your eyes grow wide when you see/hear bad things in the news.  You ask all kind of questions, you want to dissect and understand a situation.  You take problems apart the way some kids take apart toys or clocks or whatever it is other kid's take apart.

You are quiet when something bothers you and I wish you would just tell us stuff more often.  You are just not like that.  You do not share all of the details.  You love to surprise us and be surprised.  You love a good joke. You love board games and reading.  You are creative and have interesting stories to tell.  You are a saver of money and rocks and other odds and ends you find.  You always have your eyes peeled for things to pick up!  Oh did I mention you learned to read?   So neat.  You are good at math even though you say you do not like it and you have done a fabulous job at school over all. 

You are tall and thin and strong.  You like to show us your muscles!  You are a big dude to me now.  You try to snuggle into my lap sometimes but sadly you do not fit much any more.  I still take that when I can.  You are not embarrassed to give me hugs and kisses good-bye (yet) and when I drop you off at school I love that you still give me those! 

You sometimes beat up on your little sister but lately you dote on her except when she decides she wants to sit in your "spot" on the couch or at the dinner table!  You told me recently that Missy coming into our lives was hard because you remember what it was like when it was just the three of us.  You felt I give Missy more of my time the past couple of years, that I love you less than I used to.  That made me sad to think that you felt I loved you less or that I did not care as much which is entirely not true.  And I told you that none of what you were thinking is true but that I could see why you would think that.  I told you that I love you as much as the moment you were born and when it was just the three of us and I care as much as I did back then only now there are four instead of three.  You have been so much kinder and happier since that conversation.

At school recently a boy accused you of throwing a ball at his head in gym class.  You were genuinely appalled.  You said "I did not do this.  I DID NOT!"  We believed you.  What I loved more?  The gym teacher came and talked to both you and the boy.  She said " M Bug says he did not hit E on the head with the ball on purpose and M Bug would never lie so it was definitely an accident."  I love that your teachers believe in you, trust who you are, know you will do what is right.  All of your teachers tell me this and that is so very important.

You will always ALWAYS be my first lil' peanut and you are always my bug.  I love you with all of my heart. My pride in who you makes me want to explode.  I think of you and I smile.

Five has been a great year.  We are so proud of you and the changes you have rolled with.  I hope six is as fantastic as five.

Happy Happy Birthday to you my six year old!

I love you now and always.

Hugs and a big fat sloppy wet birthday kiss* from Mommy

*this is an inside joke between M Bug and I.  Sounds weird but it actually pretty funny!
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