Missy finally had her three year appointment last week. During which it was decided, after four weeks of coughing until she could not breath which resulted in too many nights than I want to remember where she threw up all over me and our bed, that Missy had walking pneumonia and she was given the hard core five day antibiotics. She is better now though she coughed this morning, looked at me and said "Mommy I still have this cough, why!?" It was actually a different type of cough, more like a she just woke up and her throat was dry cough but I just nodded. After all that coughing, one begins to fear any coughs after that!
At any rate, Missy is built like her bro. That is she is stocky and unlike her bro she is not tall, she is average in height. She is in the 50th percentile for height. However, her weight is in the 75th percentile. Here's the thing. With M Bug I can remember the equivalent of a getting a doctor high five. The doctor would pronounce upon seeing his results "your son is so tall and strong and healthy." His height AND weight have always fallen into the 95th percentile. It is still does. He is a big kid and no one has said one word to me about his weight. Ever.
Missy is average in height but above average in her weight. The doctor looked at Missy's weight matched up the national one and her BMI (which when the heck did they start that BS?!) and said "well she is only three so we do not to start her on a diet... yet." Are you FUCKING kidding me!? No, I mean really. She is not in need of a weight loss program... like ever. She is THREE for the love of GAWD!
Okay. Breath taken. I really was mostly appalled at the comment made my medical professional in particular a doctor. Now granted the regular doc was out sick and I just wanted to get her in to get medicine for what I knew was pneumonia and I have never met this newest addition to the practice. She is younger so maybe her "bedside manner" is not known to me yet but still... Last year, my good friend whose child goes to the same practice told me that at her daughter's three year appt., the nurse essentially alluded to her daughter being heavy and perhaps watching what she eats... My friend told me this story last year with consternation and disbelief. I listened to her telling this story with the same feeling she had. Fast forward to how I felt last Monday in the doctor's office.
Do we really need to be overtly concerned what we feed small female children? Do I really want my daughter to go down the long and very painful path I did of self deprivation, exercise overkill, and cripplingly low self esteem? And do I want that to start at an even younger age than mine did? I was 10 when I stopped eating breakfast and lunch and started running and doing hundreds of jumping jacks in my room in attempt to stay under 100 pounds. Do medical professionals all over the country really worry about the weight of small female children starting at the age of three based on a national average BMI type scale??
It is appalling. Maddening. I call bull shit (again and again...) Missy is healthy and beautiful and still a baby in some ways. We eat healthy meals that include fruit and veggies and a mix of complex and simple starches. We eat occasional desserts and snacks do include "snack food" but nothing worse then we ate as kids and I am certainly not feeding her Sun chips or Oreo cookies at snack time. We never really fast food. I can count on ONE hand the amount of time Missy's had McDonald's or any other true fast food. She runs and plays and jumps and she is a very active little person. I can assure you that she is not over weight, that she is healthy, and being 33 lbs is a good thing.
It usually takes me some time to process how I am feeling about something. Today, I kind of wish I had my wits about me when the doc said something to me about her weight but I did not. I am not even sure about why I am writing this other than to say what I wish I had said something more to the doctor than the vague confused look I must have given her but also to call bull shit on the medical world.
Who knows maybe all three year old girls and their parent get this communication about weight. Maybe not. I hope not...