I was outside running in the chill cold today and I was thinking about how meaningful running is in my life. It is a constant, it is mine, and it makes me feel infinitely happy. Interesting, I think a lot more when I run outside. When I am at the gym there are people to secretly gawk at, or a magazine if I am running slow enough and, if all else fails I watch whatever the televisions have to offer (Chopped!) Outside it is just me and the trail and my music and now and again, especially this time of year, a person to smile at and greet along the way. Today, I came up with the idea of running snippets.
Mostly I love the things I get a chance to consider when I am running. I rarely have time like that when I am home with the kids or K and most definitely not at work so when I run and allow myself the time to really free flow think. In doing that, I am sort of amazed about the things that come up or stories I finally have a chance to formulate.
Most of my life, possibly my entire life, I have wanted to be a writer. I can remember thinking one day I will be writer when I grow up beginning at the age of eight or nine maybe, well a writer or a lawyer. I have not done neither. Writing takes time and energy and for me writing is state of mind. I write a lot in my head but most of it never ends up in print.
Running snippets might just be about running or it might be some derivation of what I was thinking while running. Either way, I am excited about it!
Today, I was thinking about how long I've been running again. I started running in high school "for swimming". I was telling someone recently I used to trudge past our HS track or I would see the cross country runners and I longed to try it. But I was too scare and I was a Swimmer, not a runner.
I started running in college doing it on and off in the wicked cold winters of Marquette Michigan. My favorite run was along the Lake Shore Blvd. I ran somewhat more seriously between undergrad and grad school when I lived in Milwaukee and despite being dirt poor I pulled together money for a few races. Than I stopped. Inexplicably... that's a lie. I do know why. No need to rehash that part of my life.
I started back after I left the reason I stopped running and I ran again for the remainder of my grad school days. Arch to Lake Shore and back again every day. I ran after I met K off and on in Indy and Fort Wayne. Than I moved to B-town and I had a baby. And I had another baby. Time passed.
It was not until 2009 that I decided I am going to run. It was a bit of whim. I ran with a friend and I thought I might die in those early days. I would begrudgingly trudge out each day out of my neighborhood up the hills by our house. In my mind's eye, this was a painful process. I see myself sucking in air as fast as I could, a pressure on my chest that never seemed to go away only it did eventually. I know every day that I did not want to do it, there was one constant in my head: 'tomorrow it will be easier'. Each day I said that to myself and each day it has been true.
As I look down the four months of training that will culminate in running my first marathon, I cannot believe how much time I have actually spent running over the years. I am glad these three years that I have stuck to it, this thing I felt was lost from my life has returned, and in a sense has given me more now than I ever realized in all of those past running experiences. I cannot envision my future without it in some way, shape, or form. Whether I run races or just for health and recreation, I am glad I can call myself a runner today!