That "attitude" has often been trouble for me.
I half-ass things thinking this. I talk myself into believing there must be more out there for me 'to do'.
The truth is I am in the best place doing the best thing and I need to remember that.
I need to change my attitude about the job I do because I truly enjoy it.
Sure it stresses me out, it can make me feel tired/angry/frustrated at times but mostly it is an amazing opportunity that I take for granted daily.
I know when I turn that little voice off in my head and throw myself into this job; I do better at the job.
It actually pays off and I am successful.
That little niggling voice in my head that say “you can’t” rises up and wins.
Dammit. I have to stop that... or I will fail. every time.
I am good at what I do in my job without a doubt.
I am good at what I do in general. I need to stop the doubt. Stop the glass half empty 'tude.
Life is SO full, so amazing, so wonderful. And I am lucky for all that I have.
I am a good mother.
I am a good wife.
I am a good recruiter.
There are always things I could do better. I could make a list so long it would make our eyes hurt and bleed to read! Friends I do not stay in touch with and things that I not accomplish around the house, blah blah blah. Turning off that noise is so hard.
I need to be great at the above three things (work, my relationship and my family/kids) and stop beating myself up for all of the other things I feel I am failing at. The perfectionism that I grew up believing I needed is so unfounded and it has done nothing for me.
This post… these lines… they are tiresome. I have been trying to tell myself this for years. I have let this 'I could be better than I am being' mindset ruin me over the years.
But the times I have let it go, I have done so much, I have been great and achieved greatness.
I think we humans are our own worst enemies. We torture ourselves and most of what we torture ourselves with is in our own pretty little heads.
I need to own who I am and trust and believe that I am good at what I set my mind to being good at.
I need to make these changes now for her as much as for me.
So she has a role model, a strong vibrant happy role model, that she is proud of.
I need to stop with the old belief that there is more to life, that I could do better, that I not doing what is good right now. I just need to be and believe I am great... that is hard, these are old things I have lived with my whole life. To take a stance and change them now is a step but it is only a step if I actually do it.
I need only look into those amazing sea blue eyes and see this, know this and finally at the end of the day, it is all lip service if I do not believe this.