Thursday, June 28, 2012

Full Disclosure

Full disclosure: I wrote this one LAST Friday. Blogging has not been in the cards for me. Also, I think I met these running goals but definitely not the eating better/less goals.  Oh well. 1 out of 2 ain't bad! 

So I had to scrap the goals I wrote up last post.  I never ended up running while we were in Seattle despite the possibility.  There was intent there but no doing.  I am okay with that.  I was tired and ended up being sick on the return trip.  We came back Tuesday later in the day and I spent the evening cleaning and putting away and just getting things in shape for the rest of the week.
Wednesday – 3 miles
I did a fast pace run.  For all intents and purposes, I did an all-out run.  I check pace but not distance as much.  I had a limited time to run since I left at around 8:40 and sundown is at 9:20 or so right now.  It was great to get out and run.  All of my pent up energy was drained in that run.  My throat was bothering me but I think adrenaline made me go go go! 
Thursday – 5 miles
This started out as a speed pyramid.  I went around the same time as the day before but it was cloudy and darker and I was feeling more tired than the day before.  I made it through most the pyramid but gave up after a bit and decided to just run a longer distance.  Part of the reason for that had to do with how hot I was.  I think it was actually less humid and hot than the day before but I was still just wiped. 
Friday – Off
I am looking after a friend’s kids tonight so they can have a 10 year anniversary celebration.  Easy on my end, more difficult on K’s end.  Apparently my kids do care if I am around at bed time!
Saturday – GOAL: 4miles
Recovery run.  My legs are sore today after the extended period of time off.
Sunday – Goal: 5 miles
I will join back up with my running buddy.  I am happy about that. It is fun to run solo a little but it can get lonely!
What I am finding about trying to get myself to run fast had to do internally with me.  The story of my damn life.  My mind tells me no even though my legs and my body says YES!  I just get freaked out when I am hauling along at 7 minutes a mile.  That makes me MAD. I need to hunker down and keep moving without so fear or doubt that I cannot make it.  The thing that comes to mind is what is the worst that can happen?  I will have to stop running and walk?  I will be sore?   Who knows…
Also something needs to change with my diet.  I have been lying to myself.  I do want to lose weight, I do want my arms and tummy to look better. I am done feeling crappy and seeing my gut hang out if I am not paying attention to it (SUCKING IT IN!) and I want to just feel as good as I think I should feel.
In an effort to find a holistic cure for my acne I went to one of the local health food stores.  I had my list of items I thought would help and ended up with… none of them.  HA.  I talked to the girl there about things.  She said Vitamin A is basically what they make Retin-A out of and there can be issues with taking that.  She turned me on to Maca.  We will see.  It is Chinese herb/supplement.  It is supposed to amongst other things improve libido (the girl there said she did not think it did anything J), give energy and help resolve acne.  I took my first pill today.  She said it can take about a month and I did some homework myself and most sites say to start out with one pill and I can increase as needed. I think since I am just using this for acne and not libido that I do not need to take THREE of those pills a day!
In other weird news, a co-worker of mine, one who I adore and has been with our company for 14 years announced her resignation.  I am sad and happy for her.  I am kind of jealous too.  I think that is just the stress of my job which seems to be going from bad to worse.  I pray every morning and night that things will get better.  That is up to me and I know that.  I need to let go of negative feelings about things and just push forward. I know how to do this job and I know how to do it really fucking well.  I think the reason I mention work and how it has been is that I feel the same way around running.  I am on the precipice of great but I am just doing good right now.  I want more and I want to do it amazingly well which I know I can.
Finally, and most importantly, K and I celebrated nine years of marriage.  I will say more about in another post. 
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