Thursday, November 14, 2013

Funk

In order to really let you know that I am truly 40, I am going to list my current "issues".  This is mostly for my own edification and consumption. I am feeling overwhelmed and scared about my health at the moment.  I cannot seem to get it out of my head and I find if I write it all down it at least is there for me to see. (1) I can see it. (2) It is not always as bad as I get it in my head. (3) I can make a plan to deal with whatever the hell is going on.  I feel like this is probably a TMI post so you may want to ignore this one!

Right shoulder pain - this started a couple of years ago when running. I would notice this twinge in there or if I (rarely) lifted weights I would have trouble doing shoulder raises or anything really related to my shoulder. It is not nearly a constant ache and annoyance.

Right foot - low hanging fruit here.  I have a stress fracture in my heel likely from overuse while running and poor running shoes and poor form and whatever else is poor in there.  Currently wearing a boot and I am finally seeing some minor improvements.

Teeth - all of them hurt and ache and when I floss I draw blood even if I am barely flossing.  The tooth I had the root canal on earlier this year aches all of the three teeth I had multiple fillings in earlier this year are a mess plus the mirror tooth to the root canal one is always in pain. I cannot really eat anything hard because my teeth hurt. I dug out Kevin's water pick thing last night and did that and omg the ache that drew was tremendous.

Acne - I have had such rotten ache for years.  Just in the past two or three years I have been prone to rotten cyst like acne particularly around my neck and jaw line, the back of my neck and chest. I have been told this hormonal.

Hair loss - I still loose a crazy amount of hair, I have read that this hormonal. It is scares me though, I have no idea why.

My stomach issues - I still continue to struggle with my tummy/intestines.  I am either horrifically bloated and/or gassy especially at the end of the day.  It is very tiresome to be this way.  I have to say it is better than it was.  Before I had constant pain in my chest, fluttering in my chest, either severe constipation or terrible diarrhea, I would be doubled over in pain after meals, and generally I was more tired and cranky than I am now.

Left knee - this has been bothering me off and on for a bit, less than a year. It is more of twinge than anything. I do think it has been made worse by wearing this boot which causes me to walk funny on that leg.

My period - it has been weird for some time. I would say I spend about three weeks out of four suffering either the before or after effects of that time of the month.  Generally speaking I would my teeth ache way more around this, my hair increases, my stomach troubles increase, and I just feel like all around crap.  I get achy, inexplicable exhaustion, moodiness, irritability, a complete loss of concentration and sometimes my memory gets wonky - like I will ask the kids 2-3 times what kind of drink they will want for dinner (this annoys them BTW.) I break out something fierce often before and after that time of the month.  I get rotten headaches that might last for days and the aches in my body (shoulder, heel, lower back) grow exponentially.

 Generally I feel like shit all of the time.
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I think the bone issues I am having - knee, shoulder, heel - have to do with a loss of calcium and I believe I am going through a massive hormonal shift right now whether that is perimenopause or what I do not know.

I have been taking calcium pills. I am trying to be more mindful of what I am eating so that I get more calcium as well.

I am actively trying to do what I can about my teeth though I am very weary from the process.

I am actively working on healing my food with the boot and the chiropractor. I am not sure I can go back to the lifestyle I was leading before all of this - running may be a thing of my past. I am swimming now but the shoulder issue is posing another issue in there.

I need to see my gynecologist I think.  I have not had a regular exam in some time and perhaps I can lay out the issues I am having and get her take on things.

The biggest thing I want to do is change my sleep pattern.  I would like to get bed earlier like by 2-3 hours.  I need more sleep. I know I often feel worse because every night I am getting at best 5-6 hours of sleep and I think this is wearing me down and it is making it harder to fight the aches and pains.
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I think the thing I am most disappointed in is that I feel so crappy all of the time when I just want to feel better.  It is very disheartening and a small part of me wonders about genetics and how I cannot really change everything if I have a genetic predisposition to this kind of thing.  However I can be proactive and do what I can to either stop or reverse whatever is happening.  I just sad I suppose. I want to be happy and feel good for myself and my family.  I worry a lot about dying lately and leaving my kiddos without their Mommy which is weird but feeling so badly makes me think weird things and I know this. I guess putting it out there is a good way to just let it all go and continue working toward feeling better.


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