I was reading a blog post today entitled “I’ll Be Happy When…” It was essentially from my perspective about getting to the goal and being dissatisfied with the success of it all.
I did what I set out to do years ago when I decided to run and get fit again… lose the last bit of weight I felt I wanted to lose – 10 pounds. I went from 135 to 125 in eight months. It was an effort to some degree. And yet I enjoyed it this time! And yes of course I have a new goal but I am not dissatisfied. I am proud and excited and thrilled beyond words. I do want to drop another five pounds. That would put me at the weight I was in my 20s and when I felt the best about my physical body. The five pounds won’t be easy but I am up for the challenge and I am excited by it – I would say by no stretch is that a meaningful goal. It just something that would be nice to do and I will continue on the road I have been on to lose the last ten pounds.
I do think that in society there is a prevailing sense of reaching a goal and feeling like I did it but now what and perhaps a bit of a letdown – like I did it followed by the expectation that an epiphany will happen or I will change in some way because I achieved that goal rather than celebrating the excitement/happiness/achievement of it all.
The blog writer suggests writing it down, make it real, pay attention to it, and be honest about the goals. Does it make you happy or unhappy? Happy will lead to satisfaction and unhappy will do the opposite. Also, unhappy will lead to failure.
Okay, so I obviously I want to follow this line of thinking here. I have been sort of rolling around workout wise for the past two months. It is hit or miss. 4-6 days a week I work out. The past two months exhaustion has really hindered me and my efforts. That exhaustion is really by my own making. I cannot sleep; I go to sleep too late; I struggle with it. My GOAL is to get to sleep at night at a reasonable hour. The problem with this goal is that I will do it for a day or two and feel better/more rested and slip right back into old bad habits.
Funny, I said this very same thing about eating and diet and exercise for years before I buckled down, shut up the voices in my head that were telling me the same shit (you love bread and cheese and beer) and made the 10 lb loss happen! We offer up our own sabotage. I failed to lose the weight because I wanted to fail. Back to sleep – I want to fail because I like to stay up late but I hate the after effects, the lack of motivation and the exhaustion and the sense of failure in that.
The other goal I have is to get back to running/training again. I would like to run a marathon next year (2015) and I would like to run a half marathon in the 2nd half of 2014. I am ready for that challenge – my foot is better. I do however have a secondary goal to this – I want to keep doing the cross training and build muscle. I am loving the abs and slow going but noticeable change to my upper arms (MUSCLES OMG MUSCLES)
Finally, I have a work goal. I am going to make 15 placements this year. I know I have not always been entirely glowing and happy about my job but man this is something I want and I need and it will happen. I need to make it happen and I need to keep myself on track to do it. Sleep and an exercise plan with help with this job. Also, I did the first thing on that list: write it down. To recap:
1.) Get more sleep (8-10 hours each night)
2.) Train to run a half marathon in the 2nd half of 2014
3.) Continue to cross train (abs and arms baby!)
4.) 15 placements at SJA
Here is the blog post I referred. Read on – this guy is fab!